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October 1st was a bad day to be a human being.

This incident at UCC has brought the majority of us together, but has also shown the ugly in some of us.

As our class was running we heard lots of sirens and saw lots of police cars speed by over the bridge.

When I got back to the locker room, my phone had tons of notifications about something happening.

I was overwhelmed with anxiety. I had a lot of thoughts of fear and scariness in my head all at once that I couldn’t concentrate on my studies.

It hit real close to home. My mom just retired from UCC last December. My brother and I used to play on school grounds when my mom would go to school out there.

I was listening to my wife while scanning the news story I felt so angry. Helpless. Why can’t we protect our children? Whats wrong with us? Isn’t there something deeply broken in a culture that doesn’t protect the young and vulnerable?

I feel the most connected to the community through my church congregation. I have such mixed feelings about the event. I’m not sure I have made any progress in healing because the violence continues!!

Being a strong believer in Jesus, my Lord & salvation — where my true strength comes from, I felt an absolute need to lay face down & call on Him to help me deal with all of this. He was & is faithful. Seeing the response of the community deeply affected my life & caused me to want to help & contribute in some way.

For many days afterwards, whenever I was reminded, I felt “aftershocks” of fear and surprise. Fear that I could have lost a loved one and surprise that this happened here. At home.It is the resiliency and determination I see in the community and my wife, to move forward and not give in to the fear, that gives me hope for the futures.